this song, "build my life" has been my heart for a few weeks now. i wondered why it was stuck in my head day after day - then i went to haiti this last trip & i knew why. God has a sweet way of reminding us of TRUTH when times are really tough.
this is our first post as RI on a blog & def. will not be our last. usually we would probably write about who we are, who is on our board, why we do what we do but instead i want to just share about what is going on.
this last trip to haiti was rough for my spirit. rough for my heart.
new kids. sad stories. kids who have been there. things being taken from them. lies. deception. tears. a longing to be loved. need. urgency.
so many emotions. my brain is filled with a jumbled mess of figuring out ways to get money FAST.
there are so many children in need. so many children longing to be cared for. to be loved. to belong.
sometimes i want to yell at God & say WHY? God, HOW did this happen. i look into so many kids eyes with this plea for help. like you are there only hope at that moment & sometimes there is nothing you can do. i HATE feeling helpless. i HATE feeling like that.
i know people know me as the crazy lady who posts about haiti all the time. always raising funds. always talking about my kiddos. i will never apologize for that. YOU go to haiti & spend time with these kids & YOU walk away & do nothing. you can't possibly do that. you can't possibly go anywhere & see such a need & not try to do something. if you can i do not personally understand that. i will fight for these kids until i take my last breath.
i do a lot of work with CAD- a center for children in haiti. it is mostly children who came from the streets, some who ran away from an abusive situation, some who got into a little trouble. some who do not have family to take care of them, some have lost their parents, some cannot even tell if you who their family is, some don't know their birthdays, some cannot write their names, some have the hardest shell that you think you can never get through, BUT they are ALL so loved by the father, so loved by RI, some are doctors, some are lawyers, teachers, preachers, artists, future mothers, inventors, pilots, singers, the possibilities are limitless in my mind. when i look at these kids in these situations i want so desperately to know all about them. i want to know what is in their little hearts trying to get out. i want to know things they don't feel comfortable telling anyone else. i want them to feel safe. to feel loved. to feel like they belong.
i want to take their sadness & replace it with joy.
it is something so deeply infuriating to look at a child, to look them in their eyes & see deep sadness. you could almost feel it if you touched their faces. why should a child ever face such tragedy. why should a child ever run away from home at 4 to find a family? why should a child at 5 ever run away from home because they are so tired of being beaten every day by their parents. why would a child run away from a center to live in the streets without shelter, without the promise of food or water? why. God why? WHY?
sometimes i wonder if my heart can handle what God is calling me too. sometimes it can't. i literally can't handle it. i need so desperately the prayers from my friends, people who follow RI & what we are doing. we NEED them. this country needs our prayers. as christians we need to be stepping out in boldness to do our part. we are ALL called to be missionaries. in our homes, to our friends, at our schools, in other countries, to our neighbors. everyday we should wake up & despite the circumstances we are facing, we are living in we should look to the father for guidance. in the end. what really matters? the clean laundry? the clean house? nope. no way. God has a purpose & a plan for each one of us.
i feel like God is always surprising me. taking me a littler deeper. taking a right when i really want to go left. closing doors, opening others. i am in this place where i am really REALLy having to trust him with every single thing. so pray with me, pray for me. lets life each other up. is there something you are needing prayer for? let us know. we would love to pray with & for you.
" I will build my life upon your love it is a firm foundation"
"I will put my trust in you alone, and i will not be shaken"
this is our first post as RI on a blog & def. will not be our last. usually we would probably write about who we are, who is on our board, why we do what we do but instead i want to just share about what is going on.
this last trip to haiti was rough for my spirit. rough for my heart.
new kids. sad stories. kids who have been there. things being taken from them. lies. deception. tears. a longing to be loved. need. urgency.
so many emotions. my brain is filled with a jumbled mess of figuring out ways to get money FAST.
there are so many children in need. so many children longing to be cared for. to be loved. to belong.
sometimes i want to yell at God & say WHY? God, HOW did this happen. i look into so many kids eyes with this plea for help. like you are there only hope at that moment & sometimes there is nothing you can do. i HATE feeling helpless. i HATE feeling like that.
i know people know me as the crazy lady who posts about haiti all the time. always raising funds. always talking about my kiddos. i will never apologize for that. YOU go to haiti & spend time with these kids & YOU walk away & do nothing. you can't possibly do that. you can't possibly go anywhere & see such a need & not try to do something. if you can i do not personally understand that. i will fight for these kids until i take my last breath.
i do a lot of work with CAD- a center for children in haiti. it is mostly children who came from the streets, some who ran away from an abusive situation, some who got into a little trouble. some who do not have family to take care of them, some have lost their parents, some cannot even tell if you who their family is, some don't know their birthdays, some cannot write their names, some have the hardest shell that you think you can never get through, BUT they are ALL so loved by the father, so loved by RI, some are doctors, some are lawyers, teachers, preachers, artists, future mothers, inventors, pilots, singers, the possibilities are limitless in my mind. when i look at these kids in these situations i want so desperately to know all about them. i want to know what is in their little hearts trying to get out. i want to know things they don't feel comfortable telling anyone else. i want them to feel safe. to feel loved. to feel like they belong.
i want to take their sadness & replace it with joy.
it is something so deeply infuriating to look at a child, to look them in their eyes & see deep sadness. you could almost feel it if you touched their faces. why should a child ever face such tragedy. why should a child ever run away from home at 4 to find a family? why should a child at 5 ever run away from home because they are so tired of being beaten every day by their parents. why would a child run away from a center to live in the streets without shelter, without the promise of food or water? why. God why? WHY?
sometimes i wonder if my heart can handle what God is calling me too. sometimes it can't. i literally can't handle it. i need so desperately the prayers from my friends, people who follow RI & what we are doing. we NEED them. this country needs our prayers. as christians we need to be stepping out in boldness to do our part. we are ALL called to be missionaries. in our homes, to our friends, at our schools, in other countries, to our neighbors. everyday we should wake up & despite the circumstances we are facing, we are living in we should look to the father for guidance. in the end. what really matters? the clean laundry? the clean house? nope. no way. God has a purpose & a plan for each one of us.
i feel like God is always surprising me. taking me a littler deeper. taking a right when i really want to go left. closing doors, opening others. i am in this place where i am really REALLy having to trust him with every single thing. so pray with me, pray for me. lets life each other up. is there something you are needing prayer for? let us know. we would love to pray with & for you.
" I will build my life upon your love it is a firm foundation"
"I will put my trust in you alone, and i will not be shaken"
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